Tag Archives: disappointment

Can’t Wait

Anticipation – Word of the Day

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The trail is always interesting, and none more so than the bend, and the turn obscurred somewhat by nature, this time by rocks. There’s nothing like anticipation!

We wait for first experiences, that first conscious Christimas or birthday gift, that first kiss, sex, romance, a competition, having a child, catching a fish, flying, swimming, the perfect shiraz (just saying), anticipation plays its part in the build up to the doing or participating thereof. Sometimes we are disappointed (here I think of politics), sometimes we are ecstatic, but yet the anticipation itself is the delicious part. Albert Camus once wrote: “We need the sweet pain of aniticpation to tell us we are really alive.” For some of us that sweet pain is wonderful, a sting of joy. And sometimes the anticipation is far better than the very thing we arrive at, and perhaps that is learned behaviour, that anticipation is better than disappointment, yet for some us – you can’t beat the excitement, the rush of it. I wonder that there are some anticipation junkies out there?

What is harder to anticipate overall is human response. Perhaps our expectations of others are unrealistic? To return to the disappointment of politics, it seems that the individual one votes for and anticipates representation by, is crsuhed under the weight of the party machine which steals whatever it was we anticipated. The partner we pursued in love did not respond as we anticipated. The expectations we place on our children are weighty too.

I think anticipation is a positive thing in and of itself, the energy we engage in living it is life giving, especially when we are engaging with some of the more creative and positive aspects of life. Anticipation also trumps cynicism, and apathy any day, and can build a sense of hope. There’s always a bend in life obscurred, so dream a little, plan some, and live. I can’t wait …

“The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting.” Andy Warhol

And Carly Simon singing her song Anticipation

Paul,

pvcann.com

 

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Filed under bush walking, life, mindfulness, quote

Stay in the Game

Crestfallen – Word of the Day

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(Photo: radiotimes.com) Andy Murray not winning Wimbeldon.

One of Murray’s comments: “It’s not the end of the world to lose.”

Losing a game can leave us crestfallen, disappointed, whether it be tennis, soccer, Zelda or Monopoly. A natural response if you’ve invested everything on winning your game. If you aim at winning, if you want to win, and you lose, then disappoinment is a likely outcome, otherwise you really didn’t invest very much in winning in the first place. Unrealistic expectations, perfectionism, overconfidence, fear of failure, can all lead to disappointment too.

There are different types of disappointment. I’ve already mentioned losing, then there’s getting what you want and not enjoying it, and there’s the not knowing what you really want.

You have to get back in the game.

If you stay in that place of feeling crestfallen you will be miserable. If the feelings aren’t acknowledged and owned there will be little movement forward, and depending on the disappointment there may be periods of anger, grief, sulking, despondency, depression, self-criticism, blaming (all the usual supects) … If you respond passively you’ll give up.

Andy Murray won the Men’s Singles title at Wimbeldon in 2013, and did it again in 2016, which shows that if you persist and reorient, you can achieve your goal. If you fall off the horse you need to get back on and have another go. However, if there’s no horse handy then:-

  • Acknowledge your feelings (talk to someone, journal, reflect).
  • Adjust your expectations (make changes, consult, revision).
  • Revise your plans (rechart your approach).
  • Have a contingency or backup plan.
  • Be mindful in your responses (meditate).
  • Acknowledge that disappointment is normal and can be a time of learning.
  • Above all be kind to yourself.

Some quotes I really like around the subject of disappointment:

“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Friedrich Nietzsche

“Life is like phtotography. We develop from the negatives.” (motivational-well-being.com)

And, from Elena No Brainer:-

Paul,

pvcann.com

 

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Filed under life, mindfulness, quote, Sport