Category Archives: self-development

Turn To Stone

via Daily Prompt: Encrusted

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The well known Augusta water wheel, originally timber, built in the 1800s to provide water for the town and the lighthouse, now encrusted in calcite. A metaphor. If we cease to engage realtionally with others, with nature, with what matters, we risk becoming encrusted with hardness, weariness, compassion fatigue, creative dryness, and we seize up, ever hardening, never moving or growing. A heart that hardens ceases to love, and becomes encrusted with oughts (commonly referred to as a hardening of the “oughteries”), don’ts, must nots, and the bargaining of a negative mindset. What starts as protection of the self, becomes a coffin of stone that constricts. When I see that wheel, I want to chip away the calcite, to release the wheel and let it turn once again. I want to do that for those whose hearts have calcified too, but most of all I want to ensure I’m freeing my own. Only love chips away the stone of a hard heart.

Paul,

pvcann.com

 

 

 

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Filed under beach, bush walking, history, life, mindfulness, nature, Philosophy/Theology, psychology, self-development

Compromise

via Daily Prompt: Compromise

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Com = with, promise = agreement, arrangement.

The art of working together towards and agreement. I’ve come across articles that suggest it is wrong to compromise, that you should stick to your guns and never give in. But I beg to differ. Without compromise we would never accomodate each other, there would be no opportunity for collaborative work or learning. Compromise is the art of finding a new way forward, trying to find points of agreement. Without compromise we would have rigidity, black and white scenarios, all forms of fundamentalism. I do agree that we should never compromise our own dignity and integrity, we should never compromise ourselves, as Janis Joplin once said: “Don’t compromise yourself, you’re all you’ve got.” While the Beatles sang ‘We Can Work It Out’ opining that life is too short for fussing and fighting.  Besides it’s not all about you/me. We can compromise our demands, ideals, desires, and wants. My observation is that relationships fail where compromise is absent.

I love this quote from St. Augustine of Hippo (oft times falsely attributed to St. Francis and a few others): “In the essentials let there be unity, in the non-essentials let there be liberty, and in all things let there be charity.” Not bad for a bloke in the fourth century. But then he had witnessed a fair bit of compromising in the the great ecumenical councils of that era.

Relationships flourish where issues and behaviours are compromised, all it takes is an “I message” and a listening ear combined with a willingness to let go fixed positions. Somewhere there is new ground.

Paul,

pvcann.com

 

 

 

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Live in the Present Moment

via Daily Prompt: Present

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One of my favourite lines from Winnie the Pooh, and, as with many Pooh sayings, profound. Today is the present moment, there is no other.

Living in the pesent moment has deep roots in many cultures. Living in the present moment is aided my a number of helpful practices, all mindful, all

I am told that among the Australian Aboriginal peoples there is Digerie, a contemplative practice. Notably, the word digerie is the root of digeridoo, the wooden wind instrument. Buddhism, Hinduism, Tao, and several other practices, all encourage meditation in some form. Even within the Christian tradition, meditation developed in the desert monastic communities of the third and fourth centuries. Now there are other non-aligned forms of meditation. Jon Cabat-Zinn at MIT has done substantial research in meditation, showing that it has multiple benefits. Meditation is a pure form of living in the present moment, putting aside all distraction and pressure and focussing on one’s breath and mantra is releasing. To put aside the current crisis, to let go of the tyranny of time, to engage with stillness and breathing is fabulous. Through meditation I can live in the present moment, and I find I’m better for it. I notice more about my responses, behaviour, and thinking. I am challenged to let go of the past and embrace the present. The stillness grounds me so that I am able to face doubt, and the endless permutations of my mind (the monkey mind, of which the Aussie version is a tree full of Galahs).

Jan Glidewell once said: “You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.”

When our lives are completely filled up with the stuff of doing, there is little time for being. Be still for a moment, breathe, focus, let time slip away, and make space in your arms for the present.

Paul,

pvcann.com

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Filed under life, meditation, mindfulness, self-development

Courage Under Fire

via Daily Prompt: Courage

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Photo: UK Department for International Development.

There are many stories of courage throughout history. Wartime in particular seems to courageous people to the fore. Those who fought in the resistance groups during WW2, and individuals like Maximilian Kolbe https://pvcann.com/2017/10/18/brave/ , Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Nancy Wake, John Rabe, Oscar Schindler, and many, many more.

But more recently I have been moved by the courage of the young woman in the photo, Malala Yousafzai.

Most of you will know the story. Malala, born in Mingora in the Swat Valley in Pakistan in 1997, she became an advocate and an activist for womens education rights. She was inspired by her father’s humanitarian work, and Benazir Bhutto, as role models. She came up against the Taliban who were active in the Swat Valley, and who were banning girls from schools. She began writing a blog for teh BBC under a pseudonym and spoke out about her life under the Taliban. She came to prominence in the international media nad was interviewed by New York Times journalist Adam Ellick. And then Desmond Tutu nominated Malala for teh International Children’s Peace Prize.

Her prominence earned the anger of the Taliban who attempted to murder her. And she was shot on October 9, 2012 (yes it was that long ago) and survived, and with hopsital support in both Pakistan then England she made a full recovery. While being shot is never good, it did gain her international fame, which she immediately channelled into her activism for girls education in Pakistan. She set up a web site, continued to write and speak publicly, toured the world, did a TED talk (which is well worth taking the time to view), and set up a foundation called the Malala Fund where most of her award money is then distributed to education casuses across the world. she has shown a generosity in time, compassion and funding.

She has won over fifty international awards for her work for children’s education rights. And in October 2014 Malala was a joint recipient (with Kailash Satyarthi) of the Nobel Peace Prize (sad note here is that Malala is only the sixteenth female recipient, there are ninety male recipients).

She was courageous the moment she determined she wanted to persist in being educated, claiming that the terrorists did not want women to be educated because that would give them power. The moment she started to advocate and became a public activist in her own province and then started a blog, she was courageous, and on a collision course with the Taliban. And her fate was sealed when she gained international fame, and the Taliban decied to be rid of her. But she survived, and Malala continues to be courageous in her activism for the education of children, especially girls. She is doubly courageous, facing down the Taliban, but also the culture of patriarchy across the world that is still resistant to the rights of women, not least of all in education, in many parts of the world today (strange how far we haven’t come).

We need more Malalas, more courageous people to stand and turn the tide of injustice, but as she shows, it is simply sticking to what you beleive and setting out and doing it come what may (even the Taliban). One of Malala’s inspirations is Benazir Bhutto, mine is Malala.

Paul,

pvcann.com

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Filed under community, education, history, life, politics, self-development

Don’t Lecture Me!

via Daily Prompt: Lecture

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Well, not if they’re good friends, and not if they’re excellent professionals in their field (counselling, medical, teaching …). Education has taken it’s own path in modern history from chalk and talk to interactive learning. TED Talks have offerd a variety of creative learning and engaging experiences through resentations that are more like a conversation than a lecture. While counselling has moved from directive processes to a person centered listening engagement. And parenting has, ever since PET and other more recent forms of parenting, moved from punishment based models to active listening and problem solving models. Former Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa led the push for a restorative justice model known as the Truth and Reconcilaition Commission (as already used in Argentina, Nepal and El Salvador) rather than a lecture/punishment model so that people could be heard on both sides.

If I’ve messed up I really don’t need someone to state the obvious, I just need to be heard. If you can get to my feelings, to my core, if you can enable to express my feelings, I can move one, I can grow, I can change. If we deal with the affective we can effect change within.

If you want me to learn you need to do more than just expect me to transfer your learning to pages or folders as your notes stored by me. If you engage me in conversation, discussion and other ways of interractive learning, then I will retain and learn, because I can value you and your experience if I am in turn valued. I grow by observing and by engaging, discussing,  with others. And, learning helps rewire the brain! Lectures are static in the main, whereas discursive learning and engagement are dynamic and empowering, drawing from the well deep within ourselves. Engage me, don’t lecture me!

Paul,

pvcann.com

 

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Filed under community, education, life, mindfulness, psychology, self-development

Watch Me Pull A Real Me Out Of A Hat!

via Daily Prompt: Conjure

Rocky and Bulwinkle, it passed the time, and when I really should have been doing homework. Bulwinkle’s conjuring trick, which should be pure legerdemain, that polished slight of hand, becomes a comic twist, whereby the trick works, Bulwinkle conjures, he conjures all sorts of animals, in fact everything but a rabbit!

In another sense, how do we pull ourselves out of a hat? What of ourselves do we conjure? Do we pull out everything for the world to see, everything except the real me? The message of Bulwinkle is simply that he doesn’t do the trick properly, he’s half-hearted, sloppy. He doesn’t concentrate, he just rummages then pulls whatever he latches onto. He’s too busy trying to rush to impress. Life’s a bit that way too. If we want to achieve something but we’re not intentional in how we go about it then, it ends up misfiring, we don’t quite get to where we want to be. If we’re sloppy and half-hearted why should we expect our results to be any different? If Bulwinkle had wanted the rabbit he would have had to be more intentional about it. And that’s exactly what we need to do too, we need to be intentional about what it is we want for ourselves, otherwise we’ll conjure a whole lot stuff, but not the real thing. If we’re too busy trying to rush to impress, then we will always lack authenticity. Be Intentional about those aspects of yourself you wish to draw into the world for others to see.

Paul,

pvcann.com

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Sympathize or Empathize?

via Daily Prompt: Sympathize

 

Brene Brown has been a sensation because of her research into shame and guilt, vulnernability, and empathy, and the new outcomes including herown self reflection. Her TED talk (all her talks are, in my view) is a wonderful learning experience –https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0&t=17s

Nothing wrong with sympathy but Einfuhlung, or feeling into, known as empathy, is much stronger and far more supportive. Sympathy is – I care about your suffering. Empathy is – I feel your suffering.

Empathy therefore relies on friendship, close, intimate friendship, or community. Empathy cannot work where you are detached, or distant from a person, it is the ability to feel for the other person as if you are them, or you are in their very situation. Sympathy does work in abstraction, you can feel sad for someone but yet not share their perspective. In his novel “The Forgotten Village” John Steinbeck says: “It means very little to know that a million Chinese are starving unless you know one Chinese who is starving.” (from: “The Grapes of Wrath, a Literary Journal, Gerald Haslam, p.2) Steinbeck makes a great point.

I don’t mind a bit of sympathy, but in the end, I really value the depth of empathy. so, if you’re coming my way, empathise.

Paul,

pvcann.com

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