Category Archives: Humour

June 16, 2021 · 2:39 pm

The Bartleby – a poem by Paul Vincent Cannon

At dVerse Sanaa is hosting Poetics and has invited to use a minimalist photo (choice of 12) by Glenn Buttkus of South Sound Minimalist Photos.

dVerse Poets – Poetics – Exploring the Realm of Minimalist Photography

Photo courtesy of Glenn Buttkus (link above)

“Life moves on and so should we.” Spencer Johnson

The Bartleby

We named it the Bartleby because,
on most days, on most journeys it
preferred not to go anywhere at all,
to the point of disappointment so
irrupting that we persisted and 
pushed it to a limit of ourselves,
and the going was tougher than 
expected, until finally, a moment 
came when the wheels fell off our
manic endeavour, and there and 
then we left the Bartleby, much
preferring not to.

Copyright 2021 ©Paul Vincent Cannon
All Rights Reserved ®


Note: some of you may not be aware of the reference to Bartleby = 'Bartleby The Scrivener' by Herman Melville

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May 9, 2021 · 3:49 pm

Monday’s Loaf – a poem by Paul Vincent Cannon

Photo: thekitchn.com

“…. you really can’t guess just by looking whether a particular mould staring at you is good or bad.” Healthy Canning

Monday's Loaf

Monday's loaf,
soft and moist,
became Tuesday's toast,
became Wednesday's crumbs
for filling the feast of poultry,
but that last slice of two,
somewhat stiff and firm,
had just a tinge of blue.

Copyright ©Paul Vincent Cannon
All Rights Reserved ®

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March 25, 2021 · 3:01 pm

It’s Only A Spider – poem by Paul Vincent Cannon

Photo: Jake William Heckey on pixabay.com

“what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.” Charles Addams

It's Only A Spider

As soon as you think it,
there it is, coefficient,
a leg too soon, all long
and furry, dangling down
from your hair, joined by 
others as you feel it move,
then see its body, its eyes,
along your furrow groove,
and you sit up in bed and
open your mouth with a
scream, but it bears no 
sense of your irrational 
theme and scuttles away
across the vast doona 
wilderness as you hunt
for its end, forgetting 
again, that it's only a 
spider. 

©Paul Vincent Cannon

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January 17, 2021 · 1:38 pm

Suddenly The Kitchen Was A Zoo – a poem by Paul Vincent Cannon

Photo: still from the original Jumanji movie – monkeys in the kitchen scene – found at hookedonhouses.net

“In cooking you’ve got to have a what-the-hell attitude.” Julia Child

Suddenly The Kitchen Was A Zoo

Suddenly the kitchen was a zoo,
salamanders and elephants everywhere,
rolling and roiling in a raucous ruckus
scrambling to lick the laden spoon.

Salamanders and elephants everywhere,
the centre island no longer a refuge,
scrambling to lick the laden spoon,
too many cooks spoiling the moment.

The centre island no longer a refuge,
flour in the air, the oven on fire,
too many cooks spoiling the moment,
just trying to feed the monkeys.

Flour in the air, the oven on fire,
rolling and roiling in a raucous ruckus
just trying to feed the monkeys,
suddenly the kitchen was a zoo.

©Paul Vincent Cannon

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December 11, 2020 · 3:54 pm

Half Mast – a poem by Paul Vincent Cannon

VJs Weekly Challenge – Embarrassing Moments

Photo: found on Tumblr

“Nobody notices when your zipper is up, but everyone notices when it’s down.” Cynthia Lewis

Half Mast

I'm not much for flags,
something about a narrowing view
that addles the best minds and,
like a dog's territorial spray,
borders a fantasy about things
supposedly owned, and I was 
making this point over a jar or two,
when someone said, yours isn't 
flying too well, you're half mast,
and I zippered in a laughing hell.

©Paul Vincent Cannon

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March 13, 2020 · 2:04 pm

The Plot – a poem by Paul Vincent Cannon

dVerse Poets – Meet the Bar – Lists

Bjorn at dVerse has invited us to work with a list to write a poem.

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Photo: Cluedo set, found at en.academic.ru

 

“There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.”

The Plot

Some soap
tea
rope
you
choke
haggis
natal plums
insurance
nectarine
eggs,
the plot thickens.

©Paul Vincent Cannon

 

Note: the acrostic works off strychnine.

Paul, pvcann.com.

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December 24, 2019 · 3:43 pm

She Said – a poem by Paul Vincent Cannon

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Photo: funfancydress.com

 

“When I think about you, I touch my elf.”  (Santa)

 

She Said

Chimneys are full of surprises
especially on the night before Christmas,
and when Santa finally arrived
I certainly jingled,
“Have you been a good boy?”
she asked with a twinkle,
“Yes” I carefully replied,
“Well, that’s about to change”
she said with a smile.

©Paul Vincent Cannon

Paul, pvcann.com

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November 11, 2019 · 12:44 pm

Graced A Rainbow – a poem by Paul Vincent Cannon

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Image: jooinn.com

 

“Colours are the smiles of nature.”  Leigh Hunt

Graced A Rainbow

I dreamt an unfamiliar
pure white space
where a humble bee,
uncharacteristically black and white,
for mine are mostly yellow,
buzzed past and proceeded
to dance across the whiteness
without a worldly worry,
and wherever it landed,
wherever it touched,
it graced a rainbow.

©Paul Vincent Cannon

Paul, pvcann.com

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September 25, 2019 · 4:06 am

Little Toby Melancholy – a poem by Paul Vincent Cannon

dVerse Poets – Poetics – Kafka For Kids

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Art: Altered books by Susan Hoerth (raidersofthelostart)

dVerse Poetics – a challenge by Amaya to take a line from Kafka as inspiration for a nursery rhyme or other. The line that inspired my poem is from Kafka’s Letter to Oskar Pollak:

“Think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound and stab us.” 

 

Little Toby Melancholy

Little Toby Melancholy
didn’t want to play
so, instead he took a book
of new worlds to a tree,
but soon the caramel words
which swirled like serpents free,
did stick to his hands and clothes,
poor little Toby did writhe and grive
as the book turned dark and grim,
and from its pages of murk
appeared a bony finger thin
stabbing at his chest so tight
with raucous moonlight laugh,
then Toby shrieked a desperation
and flung it hard away,
its landing thudded waking him
startled and ever wide,
he glanced the cover slight
which winked at him mad
and little Toby sprang in flight
and ran,
and ran,
and ran.

©Paul Vincent Cannon

Paul, pvcann.com

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July 9, 2019 · 3:19 pm

Those Fertile Lies – a poem by Paul Vincent Cannon

Nightly – Word of the Day

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Image: a cartoon by the much loved cartoonist Michael Leunig!

Those Fertile Lies

If your vegetable garden languishes
and manure brings no results,
just give them a little evening news
and there’ll be bumper crops,
all those fertile lies,
rich fantasies,
faux concern
and invented anxieties
with smiling invitations
to more episodes of the same,
a soap-opera of nitrogenous value,
stay tuned for another
exciting excrement,
Oh, wait, there’s breaking wind,
every night,
even the mushrooms gave us
shade last summer.

©Paul Vincent Cannon

Paul, pvcann.com

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