At dVerse Ingrid is hosting Poetics with an invitation to write from a place of pain.
dVerse Poets – Poetics – From A Place Of Pain
“I’m not lazy. I’m just exhausted from fighting my way through every single day.” Mimi Love
The Trauma Dance The light, dim the light, the sound , the noise jars, turn it down, no, turn it up, lock the doors, hold the blankets tight, shut the curtains, no, open the curtains, what, no, I thought you meant, O, I know, this is weird, I'm in the midst of, well, something, I don't know that I can give voice to the sound in my throat, in my mind, down my spine, my body, why am I so sweaty, hot, so cold, why can't I feel, so detached, everything shouty, angry, not present, totally present, so, up, no down, crying, dry, heart like a freight train, heart failing, thumping, no feeling, my head, aching, thoughts so fluid, stimulated yet exhausted, talking like a jet, craving silence, craving crowds, wanting solitude, shut up, please tell me more, will I bother, will I open my front door, will I feel, will I ever be real? Copyright 2021 ©Paul Vincent Cannon All rights Reserved ®
parallax 
A powerful poem.
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Thank you very much Rupali – it comes from my deep within (PTSD)
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Bravo. I imagine this as a frantic, fast-spoken poem, read under a spotlight that goes to black with the last word.
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My goodness, you know it well, know me well, that is exactly it, thank you for getting it/me Ken.
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🙂
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Cool vision
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agreed.
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I am sorry you are going through this, Paul, but you have written about it exceptionally. It calls to mind my own health struggles (though yours are not necessarily health-related.)
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It’s coming the other way, mental health is affecting my general health, but in for the battle, I do have great supports in place, but PTSD is a wrestle. I hope you are through to the other side Ingrid. Many thanks for this.
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Thank you Paul. I think I’m on my way there. I hope you get there soon too!
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wow
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Thank you Ruth
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I have not been this bad but I do not remember things I said or did during my worst pain filled years, when on so many drugs to try to lessen it. I think you describe it well here.
Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad
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Thank you Cheryl, a fellow traveller’s understanding is very important to me.
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You use words so eloquently I know it helps with explaining your feelings
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Yes, I find writing about feelings and experiences so cathartic.
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A good thing🤗
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Absolutely
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CALLED it
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Thank you very much Ana 🙂
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I feel this, Paul.
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It is pretty raw, thank you very much Punam, I think you have much of your own pain too.
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We all do to various degrees. You are welcome.
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I call this “a wanting to crawl out of my skin moment.”
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ah, a great description VJ, and thank you.
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Welcome!
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To describe this as a ‘trauma dance’ illuminates just what you are enduring. Thank you for sharing this brutal journey. May the ‘dance’ be slowed down to a more manageable tempo for you.
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Much appreciated Carol, yes, I hope for that too.
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Powerful words,well written.I am sorry to hear that you are enduring such strife 😦
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Thank you – an accumulated life really.
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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🙂
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Always a pleasure to read and share your posts with followers, Paul!! Have a great weekend!
😊👍✨✨🎉
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Guess I’m the last to know but did not realize or dare to ask if this was autobiographical. If so it’s a very brave explanation for someone like me who tries to understand ptsd and the horror it is. My pain is physical but causes mental pain. My good thoughts are with you and I always have an open mind.
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Yes, it really is autobiographical but I didn’t actually state that in publishing it, I guess there is so much pain out there, thank you for those good thoughts Cheryl, appreciated.
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I’m always here👍🏻
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Thank you so much.
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brilliant description, thanks for sharing your pain, your quandary!
Most of us met PTSD in Lady MacBeth where the bard described it so well and you have added to that documented history, kudos. Pray you gain new skills to channel it in a positive way, take care kind gent. This was my professional field so please feel free to contact me
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Ah, many thanks Kate, some light at the end of the tunnel too now.
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there always is, especially for those willing to face it … good luck kind gent 🙂
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I’ve got a box of matches 🙂
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ouch that’s not so encouraging … try a paraffin lamp …
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True, a difficult few days, I shall seek a lamp 🙂 thank you for the kindness offering.
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a lot safer I pray, please take a break, self-care is tough but necessary at a time like this …
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Yes, waiting on a report so that the doc can sign me off.
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so glad of that … may it be there today!
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This is such a visceral poem. It was painful to read.
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Ah, then my work was fruitful, as it came from that place, thankful for your understanding.
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Let us hope ‘ the fire storm will cool down and a relaxing time will emerge’!
The Destiny cares for gentle!
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Hoping for that – yes indeed 🙂
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Profound words so well composed, Paul and the picture was perfect with your poem.
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Thank you for those encouraging words, much appreciated.
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Welcome Paul 😊😊😊😊
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Your words stimulate the experience of uncertainty, the source of trauma.
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It sure feels that way, thank you Astrid, I sense you know this.
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This is incredibly strong writing. The emotions here are so palpable. I especially resonate with; “my head, aching, thoughts so fluid, stimulated yet exhausted, talking like a jet, craving silence, craving crowds, wanting solitude.” Sending love and prayers 💝💝
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Paul, I have never experienced such pain! I feel your pain intensely as I read your powerful poem. It seems like a day when I feel “out of sorts,” only infinitely worse!
Wishing you peace and comfort and joyful days! ❤
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It has been a rough year with PTSD, but getting there, yes, it came from a deep place in this experience. Thank you for responding to this one Cheryl, it is indeed very personal.
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Paul, I have some experience with PTSD. My son suffers both PTSD and Bipolar Disorder and well as fetal alcohol syndrome from his birth mother and multiple head injuries from auto accidents…I am glad you are feeling better. I always enjoy your work. ❤
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My goodness, your son has had a mighty road to walk, thank you for sharing that and for your kind concern – much appreciated Cheryl.
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A window to lived experience – so raw
>
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As you know, so difficult
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