Stay in the Game

Crestfallen – Word of the Day

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(Photo: radiotimes.com) Andy Murray not winning Wimbeldon.

One of Murray’s comments: “It’s not the end of the world to lose.”

Losing a game can leave us crestfallen, disappointed, whether it be tennis, soccer, Zelda or Monopoly. A natural response if you’ve invested everything on winning your game. If you aim at winning, if you want to win, and you lose, then disappoinment is a likely outcome, otherwise you really didn’t invest very much in winning in the first place. Unrealistic expectations, perfectionism, overconfidence, fear of failure, can all lead to disappointment too.

There are different types of disappointment. I’ve already mentioned losing, then there’s getting what you want and not enjoying it, and there’s the not knowing what you really want.

You have to get back in the game.

If you stay in that place of feeling crestfallen you will be miserable. If the feelings aren’t acknowledged and owned there will be little movement forward, and depending on the disappointment there may be periods of anger, grief, sulking, despondency, depression, self-criticism, blaming (all the usual supects) … If you respond passively you’ll give up.

Andy Murray won the Men’s Singles title at Wimbeldon in 2013, and did it again in 2016, which shows that if you persist and reorient, you can achieve your goal. If you fall off the horse you need to get back on and have another go. However, if there’s no horse handy then:-

  • Acknowledge your feelings (talk to someone, journal, reflect).
  • Adjust your expectations (make changes, consult, revision).
  • Revise your plans (rechart your approach).
  • Have a contingency or backup plan.
  • Be mindful in your responses (meditate).
  • Acknowledge that disappointment is normal and can be a time of learning.
  • Above all be kind to yourself.

Some quotes I really like around the subject of disappointment:

“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Friedrich Nietzsche

“Life is like phtotography. We develop from the negatives.” (motivational-well-being.com)

And, from Elena No Brainer:-

Paul,

pvcann.com

 

20 Comments

Filed under life, mindfulness, quote, Sport

20 responses to “Stay in the Game

  1. Nice tips for success. great post.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Winning and losing are a part and parcel of any game. But how one channelizes the disappointment is what seperates a champion from a mediocre.
    Liked the quotes you ended your post with Paul 👍

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Great advice, key to those who take disappointments too personally 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. you have translated the text of the web page to be able to say that you like it is about the antisystem and how people can react to politics?
    Senda me feedback and discussion

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A wide field.
    To give up almost everytime when you didn’t reach the result you were aiming for can be part of a learning program from your days as a small child. It even can result from an experience you had in the birth process: When you are strangled by the umbilical cord you give up pushing to get out. As an adult you usually don’t know about that.
    Sometimes it is not easy to overcome such deep conditionings.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. curioushart

    Well, now, my crest has fallen a few times in my life, and I’m never too keen on it. But what else can one do but pick it back up again and move on? (I mean, productively–as you point out, there are a number of other options, but they don’t work very well.) Good post.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. lync56

    Well said and I loved Elena

    Liked by 1 person

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